发信人: evilangelakasha(丽蒂雅)
整理人: imstella(2001-01-20 20:22:00), 站内信件
|
'All things happen for a reason,
whether we see them or not.'
***
I saw the way you watched her look at you.
It was the same as before but different somehow. You
looked back, but not at her. You saw a teenage girl, one
who probably thought very highly of your looks, and then
you saw me. You saw me snarling at you.
I think I'm becoming an overprotective girlfriend
figure, I want to be more though.
I could taste the sexual tension in the air, I somberly
wanted some of the rush of being a teenager again. Do you
think you could comply?
I wanna feel the rush of skin, passion, and love
renounce throughout the inside of me. I want a rush of you.
I know I sound childish. Who honestly cares about what we
do? If we get married there is nothing they can do...we'd
only be stronger.
Alone we are weak.
The world could end tomorrow. Hell, I wouldn't care.
As long as the world will end with me by your side. I'm a
mess you know, yet, you've cleaned me up so beautifully, I
look like stained glass. I sigh as I watch
you intently slave over papers that were supposed to
be passed in an hour ago. A smile spreads across my face,
you're wearing your glasses. This is a welcome sight, one
of which I have not seen for quite some time.
You have locks of hair flying in your face, hovering
just above the rim of your glasses. You're going to set
down the pencil, I can see it in your muscles, and they
contract then slowly release. The pencil drops sharply to
the loose papers, the lower corner of one flies up
then falls back into place, insignificantly.
"Scully, sweet red cinnamon, let's get out of this
basement." He offers me his hand, and I accept. He is warm,
like fresh milk, and soft. A smile spreads across his face,
telling me of his pure intent.
*****
I feel lost somehow, lost within a whirlwind of
emotions, and the smell of summer orchids. The wind chimes
through the willows and sways through our clothes. Light
cotton is necessary this time of year when
the air almost always stays still...unlike today.
The sun hung around the middle of the pastel blue sky
and in bore down upon our faces, our eyes were shielded
fortunately by dark sunglasses. I almost laugh. There is a
small child standing with her mother by the swings. She's
staring. I can hear the mother talking to her...
Mulder breaks my muse by running his warm hands
through my hair and tucking strands behind my ear.
"Dana..."
I look up and another rush comes over me. I'm anxious
to see what he is going to say or do. I can look deep into
his hazel eyes and remember why I work here, why I'm alive.
He beings to cradle my chin in between his thumb and
forefinger, just adding to the mood.
"Yes?"
He moves us down to the caste-iron seating under a
weeping willow that dances in the wind. You pause for a
moment, perhaps contemplating your next move.
You slowly fall to one knee, not involuntary but
willingly, and reach in your pocket. I suck in a sharp
breath. My heart beats knowingly under my breastplate,
faster and faster. My hand moves to my mouth and
covers a shrill cry of joy. You, meanwhile, open the
navy blue velvet box. Inside a diamond shimmers like a
thousand rainbows in the sun.
'Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high...'
"Will you become another part of me? My wife?"
Earnestly smiles a flashy grin in his eyes and becomes
distorted with tears of my own joyous doings.
'There's a land, land that I dreamed of once in a
lullaby...'
"Yes..." I manage to choke out. "Of course."
He rises, and I smile. I wrap my arms around him so
tightly, I don't think anyone can make me let go. I can
feel his breath slowly weaving into the marrow of my bones.
He moves back and kisses me slowly and lovingly.
*****
The shot came out of nowhere.
I sure as hell didn't see the sharpshooter. I doubt
he did, also. But those crystal rainbows in my eyes were
instantly shattered when the bullet screamed past me and
into Mulder's chest. Another one came...missing us both.
"Scully...god...I'm oookay." He sputters as he teeters
up. I, however, remain confused.
"What the __BLEEP__? Mulder...you were sshhh...shot in the
chest." I carelessly rip open his white shirt, buttons fly.
Bare chest, but no bullet hole.
"Ohh my god. Mulder!"
Another shot rings out and hits the iron bench we were
just sitting on. Mulder gasps for breath.
"Scully...I wasn't shot the there..." He falls
backwards into my arms, warm blood trickles down his
pantleg. Open wounds reveal themselves to me...he's been
shot in the stomach.
Instinctively I press, hard, on the wound. It's not a
wound, I realize, but a sign of death. The blood rivers
through my lanky fingers, I push harder, more comes.
Mulder squirms once then falls still. He cannot be
dead, no. Not while the blood is still beating steadily
between the cracks.
"You're not going to die on me, you understand? If you
__BLEEP__ die on me, ohh god, I don't know what I'll do," I
say letting the tears, the ones that were moments earlier
tears of joy, fade to the tears of remorse and fear.
"No...you can't."
He turns his head, which is shaking, and looks at the
wound that may kill him. Not that this shooter really
cares.
"Scully...I'm sorry." He coughs again, a stream of
silky blood flies, as does another bullet. "I can't let..."
He never finishes his sentence. The steady beat of
blood flowing through the gash slowly stops.
'Somewhere over the rainbow way up high...'
The police came, Skinner came, Mulder didn't. And the
police stared at me and my Romeo-and-Juliet-esque romance,
asked questions and dusted for the usual tell-tale DNA
signs. When Mulder was shot we were in the dead-center of
the park, right under a statue that stated 'We
will not go quietly into the night, we will not die in
vain. We will live on in memories, we will fight to keep
those memories.' A large maroon circle, a symbol of things
once were.
Three others died in that park, two children
gruesomely killed and their mother, her eyes frozen and
glared over in shock afterwards. Her mouth lay open,
screaming perhaps, and a rivulet of stagnant
of pasty, deep red blood, remained motionless on her
moonlight-white skin. I could picture the woman carefully
dotting her make-up on this morning, while
her children watched on in awe. They did not know that
later that very day they would be dead in the frail arms of
their mother. The little girl's neck was shot, right
through the spinal cord. The little boy was shot in
the head, killing without any pain.
A scene I never are dream of seeing, like a horror
movie it came and swiped away all my dreams and hopes of
marriage. The blood remained pinched on to my skin while it
was wet and fell off in flecks of semi-hard puzzle pieces.
In the air the aroma of a hospital swiftly hangs in the
air, invading us.
******
As I lay me down to sleep I pray
+_+_+
The sun rose in the morning. Nightmares faded into nothing.
Dana looked confused. She walked down to the kitchen. It
was 7:30 and mulder hadn't called her for the new " X
Files".
She thought she was obsessed with dreams in those days, but
she couldn't remember what it was,
She shocked her head. "This is a fine morning." She told
herself. "And nothing is gonna happen."
Dana was called down to skinner's office when she just
arrived at the building.
Mulder was already there.
"Agents," skinner sat back at his chair, "I get a phone
call from VA, and I want you two to get there help
investigate a murder case."
"That's it?" Mulder asked.
"I hope you don't feel lost with non-x-files cases, agent
Mulder."
"No I just wonder, a murder case, anything special?"
"Here is the report." Skinner hands him a folder;
"everything is in it."
Dana was shocked when hear skinner say: "everything is in
it." The scene looked sort of familiar, like she has been
in it before.
She walked down to her office with mulder. He noticed her
absence in mind: "what's wrong, Scully?"
"Nothing." She made herself smile. She wasn't even clear
about what "happened" to her.
+_+_+
The car drove down to the street; fall leaves have already
covered this world with golden color. I can feel the warm
left by the sunlight. It doesn't appear to be a case. It's
simply some answered questions waiting for me to check out.
I see it. I know the answer. And I feel you, beside me,
trying to hold me in your heart.
Is there a wonder?
+_+_+
Mulder noticed her silence. He didn't ask. As they drove
through this much, he learned to see, to understand her by
heart, not by language. Is there a truth? Or the truth is
she? He wouldn't give up his dream. But now he asked
himself: what is your dream?
The radio was playing Over the Rainbow.
Somewhere above the rainbow, way up high…
Have you ever seen the colors of the wind?
The girl died in her room. No one knows when, or why. The
room was separated from the world outside by death and
blood. The attempts for life were still kept in.
Dana felt it. There was a girl who was young and beautiful.
There was a clock on her desk. Dana knew what she liked and
what she disliked. If she could travel back to the past.
She could have known why she was here. That was what she
meant to know, but now there was only one unanswered
question that she dare not to ask herself.
The people around here were must now. She stood in the
girl's room. There was only one thing she could feel, like
it was a part of the vivid dreams she has before. The sound
told her a story. She felt the life, and the passion. It
was still there, in the air, enjoying the sunlight and
attempting to tell people the old fair story that o one has
ever heard or noticed from the tiny angels in the air.
Angels danced above the rainbow.
They walked out of the apartment.
"Mulder." Dana stopped.
"Yes?" he stopped, looking back at her
Suddenly, Dana ran down the stairs. There was a man pushing
a cart through the hallway. He looked at them and then ran
toward the elevator.
"Hey!" Dana yelled, "stop!"
Mulder took out his gun, rushed into the elevator.
Dana stopped at the cart, removed the plastic cover on it.
The girl was lying there, her body turned a strange angle,
her eyes closed, her pale face was calm and pretty. Blood
was all over her but her face.
At that time, Dana was standing under a sky with the calm,
pale face. She looked at Dana but said nothing. Slowly dad
was pulled back into her own world.
"Well, I'd say. Good job agents." Skinner sat on his chair,
trying to get a conclusion for this case.
"Thank you, sir." Dana said. "I guess no one knew that the
murder was still in the apartment."
"We were lucky." Mulder said, emotionlessly.
After they walked out skinner's office, Mulder stopped her
at hallway.
"Scully, something happened, didn't it?"
She tried not to look at him, not now, but couldn't, he
know her.
"I dream."
"Dreams?"
"I don't know. They are like my memories, leading my life
to another way, and… I feel that they are real."
Mulder looked at her: "whatever it is, happens for a
reason, and, Scully I want you to be good. Go home and get
some rest. Then we will need to talk." He held her hand
real quick then let her go.
I know for a fact that the girls are in my room. I walk
around the room, drink water and smell the scent of the
night. The cold breeze blows and spread the fear all over
this place. I swear I heard the blood drops.
He always kills the girls and brings their heads home.
However he never looked at me. The two things that he does
are piling up the skulls and love me. I know he loves me,
passionate and thrilling. I just love the way he moves his
hand on me.
Then he goes away, Until he gets another girl.
When I was a child mom used to tell me these legendary
tales. Princess and witch… beauty and evil… darkness and
love. My world mixed these elements in a strange way. It's
full of passion. In the darkness you can't see love. What
you have in your hands is despair. However I usually forget
its existence. At the time we meet together, he belongs to
me and his promises become my only hope.
For years it seems I lie in the darkness, becoming pale and
weak. Waiting for him to marry me. He said that early this
year, or maybe earlier. I don't know what time it is; I
don't see the sunlight. Darkness is all I can have, And the
passion he sometimes gives me before he tells me how our
future will be.
Should I believe him? Can I give up some more?
I left my family when I was 17. Parents died in an accident
and left me a sister. I had to go find a job to take care
of her. She was so innocent. She had red hair and dark
eyes. I don't want to think of the past I've had. It was a
nightmare. My sister got killed when she was 14. Some freak
killed her. He wiped off her hair and left the blood in my
room. God I hated him. He took away my sister and he broke
my dream.
That was a painful experience. He didn't kill me because he
needed some money to run away. So he sent me to a place
where I got all the wounds in my heart. Every man I met
there came only for my flesh. Yeah flesh, completely flesh,
without emotion and thoughts. Maybe the mummies are more
like human than I am. I was nothing but a sex symbol.
However I was too tired to fight. I had nothing to
fight for. I lived only in the night. The city looked like
a kaleidoscope when you look down from the 15th floor. The
lights made you feel stifling. Because they were so
beautiful, they bend to heaven, in my imagination. One
thing though, I used to live in the basement. But you would
probably figure out how I got on the 15th floor. You can
still see the wounds on my body. They were left by some
madmen. Life never changed until he appeared.
He took me the hell out of there and told me he would
love me. And he made love to me. But it was for love and I
knew it. He left me in this room and said that he would be
back. I waited and waited.
I forget to tell you that I killed the man who
murdered my sister and raped me. It was some night and he
came for me. When I was sent down to that place I was calm.
After days he'd forget things that happened before, or he
thought I didn't remember. But I did, as hard I could I
kept them in my heart.
I opened the window and looked down the city.
"It's like kaleidoscope." I told him.
He began to smile and kissed me. In the darkness I heard my
heart beating the blood was running in my veins. I reached
the knife.
However I was too weak. For a girl I wasn't too weak.
But when you fight with a man things turn out to be
different. I heard when the blade went in his neck. I felt
the warmth when the blood ran out. he pushed me away in
fear.
"you still remember." He looked at me with his eyes
wide opened.
I didn't give him time. I pushed him off the 15th
floor.
It is over now.
He is all I have. I love him and I still have his
promises. Hope, trust, endless waiting, loneliness,
darkness, murder, love, scent, fear and death, I have them
all that make up the reality in this world.
There should be more though.
Future.
Hope, day and night passed in silence.
|
|