发信人: michael_fu()
整理人: roy_young(2002-09-05 09:45:13), 站内信件
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My Dreams
I wanted to become a soccer player when I was a child. So I usually play soccer in the street and if I can’t find the friends to play with me, I will play at home by myself. Maybe you will ask me how to play by one, Sorry, I have forgotten and I don’t understand how playing two teams at the same time at home and the match was very exciting. I can say I have wonderful time in my childhood.
Going to primary school, I kept this ambition. Classmates and I have same ambition. We only played soccer in sport lesson, or else we could not play. Because the teachers did not like the students take any activity. Maybe the handicapped student was the good student for the teacher. Anyway these were not problems to me; I often practice by myself in the street or at home after school.
Though I was thin, I haven’t enough power to kick a ball of official match and I had never scored a goal from Grade 1 to Grade 6 at school. But when I enjoyed myself, I usually imagine I became a champion of soccer match.
I wanted to become a soccer player when growing up. This was my dream in these times.
When I was studying in junior middle school, I had many dreams such as a computer specialist, GO player, painter or say to the girl “I love you”.
At first, I liked the computer. I joined the some course to learn. I just learned Basic and Logo computer’s language, but it is useless for me now. I didn’t have a PC because it was very expensive in 80’s. Then I must became a rich man before I became a computer specialist
In second year, I like to play GO(围棋). I play GO(围棋) with my classmates every day after class. Sometimes I play GO(围棋) with my teacher and usually beat him. When my teacher lost to me, I felt wonderful. I have never joined any formal match, because the GO(围棋) match was not held in our school. The best record was I beat a girl who was a champion of GZ middle school GO(围棋) match.
In third year, I liked to paint, I learned Chinese picture about landscape every Sunday. I drew many pictures and gave them to children. The children were still so happy even they didn’t know what I drew in the picture. When my pictures were welcome by the children, my teacher, being in charge of our class, ask me to stop because I need to be ready for the exams about higher School. So the children lost a great painter.
Saying I love you to girls is many boys’ dream when boys were in middle school. This Dream is difficult. It was so difficult that I didn’t say to any girl. But I didn’t regret I did not say “I love u” to the girl when I met the girl in the classmate’s party last year.
I joined a famous special secondary school after I studied in the junior school. I usually play tennis and soccer, but these weren’t important to me. My dream was to become a politician in these times. I felt all of things aren’t fair and want to change them. I began to worry about the people and the society. I imagine changing the society and country. I quickly lost the passion after one day. I have never been interesting for politics since the day. When I nearly graduate, I joined a political party. My teacher told me that I would be able to arrange a good job after I joined the party.
I was arranged a good job after I joined the party. I was arranged to join an old state own company that has very bad operation. I have nothing to do everyday. Sometimes I was given a task the wholesale market in Yi De road to buy some boxes of drink and instant noodle for the colleagues. But the department head didn’t like me, she often say that Michael hasn’t got ambition. I am not handsome, not talkative, not nice and I don’t like to do stupid things. The colleagues believe Michael is such a boring boy. I wanted to leave the company and I began to find a job as salesmen, waiter or clerk, but the employer always asked me to wait for their notice. My dream was I find a good job in order to leave this boring company when I grow up. I have only done one meaningful thing in the last 5 years. It was finishing a computer accounting course in a college. After I finished the course, I found a good job in a joint venture. When I was resigning from the old company, they asked me to pay two months of salary for termination. However, I gave the money of two months salary for the company. Then I was free and my dream came true.
I was a personnel assistant in the new company and learning much knowledge. The knowledge included how to use copy machine and fax machine. My dream was to become a high level HR person same as my boss. But happy time is always short. After I have joined this company for 6 months, my boss quitted. My boss is in a different company now, but I believe he is my boss forever. My boss gave me a chance to change my life when I went to his interview. I still remember I felt so a happy when my boss offered the position to me. I still remember I ceaselessly laugh on the way of back home. Maybe I was childish, but I felt I was the happiest boy. I believed meeting the god who is my boss and he have let my dream came true.
When I was unhappy to leave the company same as my boss who has left 9 months ago, my dream was to become a bad man. I found a new job quickly, but I lost this job quickly. A close relative of mine passed away and I lost many others except I haven’t lost virginity. I lost things that I care but I haven’t lost things that I didn’t care. I felt the world is unfair for me. However I knew to become a bad man that is difficult. I had never been a bad man for 25 years. When being 50 ages, I’m a man who is half bad and half not bad. When being 75 ages, I’m a man who is two third bad and one third not bad. Maybe I would become a perfect bad man after several hundred years.
In the middle of 1998, the troubles suddenly ended. My boss called me to join his new company. My boss was in my department again. However I couldn’t become a bad man continually, I knew a new colleague who is a manager from H.K.. I think the colleague thought he is a superman. He likes to teach and save other people. He took more time to teach you much knowledge in the work and worried about you. He would give some money to every beggar on the way when he went outside. Unfortunately, we became good friends, because we liked to play tennis. He gave me many information how I become a good man. Then I wanted to become a good man to help people when I still need help. However the god and the superman aren’t almighty. Our company was combined with a competitor. They went back Hong Kong after they quitted the company. Maybe them were more needed for H.K., which is worse now, than the inland.
Today, I’m a jobless person, after I left the company that was combined. I need to find a new job. I knew I haven’t finished many tasks in my life. Now, my dream is to improve my English. Better English is necessary in my career. In the future, I will have many Dreams at different times. Maybe my dreams will be to become a good boss same as my boss, a high level HR person, a lawyer, an old tennis player, control my life by myself and find a girl to love. However I need to learn English this afternoon, or else my dreams are just daydreams. I will make it come true dream by dream.
Written August 31st, 2002
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