发信人: szcgr()
整理人: imstella(2001-01-09 02:50:34), 站内信件
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Seven years ago I started writing about love and weddings for the New
York Times in a column called “Vows”. And now that I have been on th
is beat for so long, a strange thing has happened: I’m considered an
expert on love. The truth is, love is still mostly a mystery to me. Th
e only thing I can confidently say is this: love is as plentiful as ox
ygen. You don’t have to be thin, naturally blond, super-successful, s
ocially connected, knowledgeable about politics or even particularly c
harming to find it.
7年前，我开始为纽约《时代》的“誓言”专栏写关于恋爱和婚姻的报道。由于我
从事这一行的时间久了，竟被人看成了爱情专家。事实上，爱情对我来说仍旧是
一个谜。我惟一确定的就是：爱情就像氧气一样丰富。为了得到它，你不需要有
苗条的身材、天生的金发、巨大的成就、良好的社会关系、渊博的政治知识甚至
富有魅力.
I’ve interviewed many people who were down on their luck in every way
a ballerina with chronic back problems, a physicist who had been on 1
12 (he counted) disastrous blind dates, a clarinet player who was a si
ngle dad and could barely pay the rent. But love, when they found it,
brought humor, candlelight, home-cooked meals, fun, adventure, poetry
and long conversations into their lives.
每天，我都会遇到许多不走运的人：患上慢性背疾的芭蕾舞演员，经历了 112次
约会失败的物理学家，一位吹黑管的几乎付不起房租的单身父亲……但是爱情给
他们带来了幽默、烛光、家常菜、快乐、奇遇、诗歌和畅谈。
When people ask me where to find love, I tell a story about one of my
first job interviews. It was with an editor at a famous literary magaz
ine. I had no experience or skills, and he didn’t for one second cons
ider hiring me. But he gave me some advice I will never forget. He sai
d, “ Go out into the world. Work hard and concentrate on what you lov
e to do, writing. If you become good, we will find you.”
有人问我：“到哪儿才能找到真爱？”我就把自己第一次面试的经历告诉他们。
当时面试我的是一家著名文学杂志社的编辑，那时，我没有任何经验和技巧，他
也根本没有想要雇用我，但他给了我一条让我终生难忘的建议：“到社会中去，
努力做好你想做的事——写作，然后，如果你做得很好，我们会发现你”
That’s why I always tell people looking for love to wait for that “I
won the lottery” felling——wait , wait, wait! Don’t read articles
about how to trap, seduce or hypnotize a mate. Don’t worry about your
lipstick or your height, because it’s not going to matter. Just live
your life well, take care of yourself, and don’t mope too much. Love
will find you.
这就是为什么我一直告诉那些苦苦追求爱情的人，让他们去等待那种“我中奖了
”的感觉，等待，等待，再等待！你无需去读那些教你如何“捕捉”、引诱或使
男人神魂颠倒的文章，也无需去担心那些诸如口红或身高之类的小事，因为那些
没什么大不了。只要你好好生活，照顾好自己，别太忧郁，总有一天，爱情会找
到你。
Eventually it even found me. At 28, I met my husband in a stationery s
tore. I was buying a typewriter ribbon, and he was looking at Filofaxe
s. I remember that his eyes perfectly matched his faded jeans. He reme
mbers that my sneakers were full of sand. He still talks about those s
neakers and how they evoked his childhood——bonfires by the ocean, dr
iving on the sand in an old jeep——all those things that he cherished
.
爱情最终也找到了找。28岁那年，在一家文具店，我遇到了现在的丈夫。当时，
我正在买打字机用的色带，而他正在看备忘记事本。我还记得，他眼睛的颜色与
他那条褪色的牛仔裤很相配。而他则记得我那双里面满是沙子的运动鞋。他现在
还喜欢谈起我的那双运动鞋，因为它唤起了他关于童年的记忆：海边的篝火，驾
驶老式吉普车，在沙滩上兜风，所有这些都是他最珍贵的回忆。
How did I know that it was true love? Our first real date lasted for n
ine hours; we just couldn’t stop talking. I had never been able to da
nce in my life, but I could dance with him, perfectly in step. I have
learned that it’s love when you finally stop tripping over your toes.
我怎么知道这是真爱呢？记得第一次约会时，我和他竟有着说不完的话，我们一
连说了9个小时！遇到他之前，我从来跳不好舞，但和他一起起舞时，我们的步子
非常合拍。我终于明白，是爱情使得我不再跌跌绊绊。
A year after we met, we married.
相识一年后，我们结婚了。
I have come to cherish writing the “Vows” column. With each story I
hear, I have proof that love, optimism, guts, grace, perfect partners
and good luck do, in fact, exist. Love, in my opinion, is not a fantas
y, not the stuff of romance novels or fairy tales. It’s as gritty and
real as the subway, it comes around just as regularly, and as long as
you can stick it out on the platform, you won’t miss it.
我开始珍视我所主持的“誓言”专栏。我所听到的每一个故事都向我证实了，爱
情、乐观、勇气、风度以及般配的伴侣的确存在。在我看来，爱情不是幻想，不
是浪漫小说和童话故事的素材。它就像地铁一样准时：只要你在月台上等待，终
有一天，它会来到你身边。
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