发信人: hugecat(㊣以德泡妞㊣)
整理人: fredrink(2001-07-27 16:42:30), 站内信件
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n Ways to Annoy Your Professors
(come from Princeton University,USA)
Your professors spend a lot of time annoying you (e.g., homework, exams, lectures), isn't it time that you got even? Here's a list of things that have been done to the ORFE faculty (no, not really, it just sounds better than saying we scarfed them from the WWW) in recent years:
Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!"
Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector.
Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".
Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode of Starsky and Hutch.
Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
Sing your questions.
Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.
When the professor calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry."
Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.
Wear your pajamas. Pretend not to notice that you've done so.
Inform the class that you are a member of a royal family. Then have a friend bang cymbals together whenever your name is spoken.
Address the professor as "your excellency".
Shout "WOW!" after every sentence of the lecture.
Present the professor with a large fruit basket.
Bring a "seeing eye rooster" to class.
Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, "Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?" Become aggitated when the professor can't understand you.
Watch the professor through binoculars.
Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.
Ask to introduce your "invisible friend" in the empty seat beside you, and ask for one extra copy of each handout.
When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"
Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
Sit in the front row reading the professor's Ph.D. dissertation and snickering.
As soon as the first bell rings, volunteer to put a problem on the board. Ignore the professor's reply and proceed to do so anyway.
Claim that you wrote the text book.
Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and scream "IMPOSTER!"
Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Signup Sheet #5" at the top, and start passing it around the room.
Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the professor answers.
Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, "Can you spell that?"
Disassemble your pen. "Accidently" propel pieces across the room while playing with the spring. Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the > pieces. Repeat.
Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when you laugh.
Wear a black hooded cloak to class and ring a bell.
Ask your professor to pull the roll chart above the blackboard of ancient Greek trade routes down farther because you can't see Macedonia.
Of course, we don't advocate any of these ideas. We're just making them available as a public service.
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吾未见好德有如好色者也 |
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