A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot. And not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage.

If a man talks dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment If a woman talks dirty to a man it's nine dollars a minute